I feel like I must introduce you to a very important someone in my life. She was the catalyst for my desire to live transparently. She’s the reason I do not gloss over the hard, and she taught me that seeing the good is a daily choice. I must introduce you to Passey.
Passey is a spunky piece of small intestine shaped like a ‘J’ living near my anal sphincter. She is called a "J-pouch." She enjoys giving me the chance to live life outside the bathroom and prefers I avoid gluten, processed and fried foods. She can be temperamental, but she’s been through a lot and does her best.
Let me tell you how we met.
When I was 12 years old, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, an Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) that caused my colon (large intestine) to bleed and go to the bathroom wherever and whenever it wanted. After a poop test, a new medication, an allergic reaction, a medication switch, and a diet adjustment, I was in remission. No nuts, popcorn, oatmeal, or kernel corn and my life was like any other preteen’s – full of imagined drama, misguided fashion choices, and annoyance with juvenile boys.
Six years later, I was a senior in high school, and my medication stopped working. Nothing else on the pharmaceutical drug market was working either. I was in so much pain, going to the bathroom 30 times a day, bleeding, wearing adult diapers, taking Calc 2 tests in the bathroom, and hardly able to live life. Two weeks before I graduated, I ended up lying in a hospital bed in total organ failure.
We were told I didn’t have six months to live, so waiting for a new drug wasn’t a viable option. Then surgery was mentioned, and I chose life.
I was determined to still attend college out-of-state, so we scheduled my three surgeries around my academic schedule.
The first a month before I started college.
The second between winter and spring semesters. The final after spring semester concluded.
I met Passey in December 2016 after my second surgery. I officially had a J-Pouch, and though she wasn’t functional at this point, she promised to give me life back.
I remembered what life outside the bathroom was like. I could eat salad, wear pretty underwear, and sleep through the night. I could go to the movie theatre, ride for hours in the car, make and keep plans with friends.
Passey allowed me to be present – fully, completely, and without fear.
Being a J-Poucher isn’t so simple, though.
Each J-Pouch is as unique as the J-Poucher themselves! Some like vegetables, some detest them. Some last 30 years, some only 10. Some require medication, most do not. Some routinely get infected and inflamed, others are the healthiest little pouch you’ve ever seen!
Passey has changed a lot in the past six years. She’s been perfectly healthy, severely inflamed (a condition called pouchitis), diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease (which is exceedingly rare), infected with a bacterium known as C.diff., and healed nearly to the point of remission.
She’s learned to poop properly, eat vegetables, hold it, and she’s working on farting currently! She’s gone from 30 poops a day to 5 poops a day to 17 poops a day to 2 poops a day. She has hiked glaciers, been all over the country, and handled stress and change with the best of 'em!
People who know me well know Passey well, too. They grin at me when they hear her gurgling, and they ask, “Will that make Passey mad?” when sharing food with me. They know I don’t use straws, limit my carbonation intake, and refuse to eat mushrooms and cabbage. We celebrate my farts as we happily munch popcorn, grateful that I’m here and present and engaged.
Now you know - I have a Passey!
FAQs
Do you always name your anatomy?
Only the problematic bits.
Do you have a butthole?
Are you cured?
Where's your bag?
How do you poop?
So what's your poop like?
Can you eat that?
Can you get constipated?
Leave any more questions you have in a comment!
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