We’ve spent centuries expanding what Valentine’s Day celebrates.
In 1700, valentines were exchanged between friends because they weren’t content only applauding romantic love. In a more recent century, Galentines, Palentines, and anti-Valentine’s days have sprung up for presumably the same reason.
There is a push for greater representation of self-love, black love, queer love, trans love, disabled and inter-abled love, Latin love, and Asian love. Our world is not satisfied to commemorate just one expression of love.
We offer themed chocolate, donuts, pizzas, strawberries, cookies, and coffee in an effort to include as many tastes and preferences as possible in the veneration of love. Each year, we add more days, qualifiers, elements, and products to Valentine’s Day in order to expand the scope of love and include more people.
And it’d be a nice thought, if love was exclusive. It’d be a valiant effort if love was meant for a select few. It would be a needed enterprise were love restricted, limited, possessed, or controlled.
But it’s not.
LOVE ALREADY HOLDS SPACE FOR US ALL.
One of my biggest pet peeves is the English language. It is incredibly meager. We tried to compact thousands of years, myriads of languages, and an impossible amount of ancient cultural context into a singular vocabulary. At best, it is insufficient. At worst, it robs us of a whole and holy understanding.
Ancient Greeks had six words for love.
SIX.
To them, every form of love was so vital and valuable, it needed its own distinctive term and definition. Each facet of this emotion is needed, and together, the six give us a comprehensive picture of love. They reveal how inclusive love already is and the fullness it already offers.
Love is foundational, and the depths of that foundation matter.
These six postures of love matter.
Agape. Eros. Storge. Ludus. Philia. Pragma.
May they change your life as profoundly as they have mine.
AGAPE
EROS
STORGE
LUDUS
PHILIA
PRAGMA
It is easy to feel excluded by celebrations of love.
Ludus alone is encouraged. Eros is exalted. Everything else is twisted, discouraged, or ignored. It is hollow, shortsighted, and narrow-minded.
See, we need every form of love in our life. The intertwined nature of all six loves is the beauty of love. And it is in this knotted formation we find Truth.
Love already holds space for us all.
No matter who we are or what season we find ourselves in, we have access to love. We are loved. We do love. We will continue to love.
Love does not exist in one form alone. Their co-existence is the fullness we long for. Living well and loving better requires a deep understanding of this wholeness of love.
We were designed to need multiple forms of love, specifically agape and philia and storge. These are the foundations, and nothing healthy can exist when these are lacking.
And in case you missed it, none of those loves requires sex, a partner, or romance.
You were designed for love, beloved. You were shaped to desire it. You were made for love, with love, and by love. You were fabricated with a love-sized hole in your heart.
Love is the most inclusive, impartial, universal emotion, and it is meant for you. To know, to feel, to experience. You are seen, you are known, and you are loved. Fully.
Today is February 14, Valentine’s Day. And you are loved. No qualification or relationship status needed.
You are deeply loved.
Go and celebrate love!
Note!
If you are seeking to learn more about love, these resources are a great place to begin!
Bailey T. Hurley’s Blog
The Bible
The MOPS Blog
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