Because you haven't had the privilege of being sick for two years.
I thought I was spending an unGodly amount of hours reading and writing and processing and learning and wrestling and tearing apart my beliefs and piecing together Truth.
I thought I might be thinking too deeply, caring too much, and devoting time to something fruitless.
Turns out, it was all God-ordained.
My two years of isolation, appointments, housebound, stuck in bed, lonely, can literally do nothing but read and learn and think afforded me an opportunity few else will have.
Time.
Time to gain insight and seek understanding. Time to assess my beliefs and ask myself, "why do I believe this?" Time to dive deep into multiple viewpoints and compare them line-by-line to the Biblical vision.
It was not time wasted.
It was time poured out for you.
I've gone ahead of you. I've prepared the way for you. I've laid the groundwork, the questions, the topics, the Truth out for you. Right now. In the season you're in, with the capacity you have, and the energy you can spare.
It's not for a "one day" version of you or a you who cares more or has more time. It's not for the person you wish you were or the you who has it all figured out. It's not for the you that has perfect theology, sound arguments, and a Bible verse for all circumstances.
This is for the uncertain, confused, anxious, hurting, disappointed, grief-stricken, lonely, imperfect, doesn't know what they're doing, doubting, questioning, just wants better you.
You can't do what I've done (praise God!).
You can step into the hard right now, though.
You can choose to look at your mess.
You can choose to be vulnerable.
And you can choose to do it right alongside the rest of us.
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